Pastors and Principals--Three Practical Suggestions

Parish schools have two undisputed leaders: the principal (and in rare cases, a president) and the pastor. Canon law is clear that the pastor has ultimate charge of all ministries in his parish, including the parish school. Even so, the “face” of the pastoral ministry of the parish for young families is often the principal. When the two work together as partners, both school and parish can have a transformational effect on the life of families. When there is friction or misunderstanding between them, things fall apart. Here, then, are some practical ways in which pastors and principals can build partnerships to advance the important ministry they both share.

Establish a sacrosanct weekly meeting. In almost every case I’ve known where pastors and principals are at odds, they are not meeting regularly. This is a simple fix! There are too many overlapping areas not to talk on a routine basis, and when we don’t, we inevitably misunderstand the actions and motivations of the other. 

“Oh, we talk all the time,” one principal told me, “No need for another meeting.” I disagree, strongly, on a number of levels.  “Drive-by” meetings are almost always problem-driven, aimed at solving a particular issue of the present, and rarely involve any kind of strategic discussion about the future. Since they are quick, impromptu meetings, often the “issue” is resolved by one person informing the other what he or she has decided to do, rather than a kind of healthy give-and-take. Unwittingly then, both begin to ask themselves who has the “right” to make this or that decision, such that the context is one of authority rather than partnership. And in my observation, over time, these unscheduled meetings become less and less frequent, given the natural busyness in the life of both pastor and principal, leading inevitably to misunderstandings and resentment.

Honor symbols--Pastors and principals should look for ways to stand “side by side” both literally and figuratively in their parish ministries. For example, the principal should invite the pastor to every PTO meeting--at minimum to open the meeting with prayer, but beyond that, I’d suggest the principal ask the pastor to say a few words on the topic of the evening by way of introduction. The pastor should find a way to say “yes” to such invitations, recognizing it links him powerfully to his families. Parents love it when the pastor is present, as it affirms the “Catholic difference” they’re investing in. Short of unresolvable conflicts (but let’s be honest, most conflicts are avoidable or resolvable), I believe it’s really important for the pastor to be at big, school wide events. But the principal must invite him to have a meaningful role.

Show up for stuff--A pastor friend of mine once said, “The secret of my job is just showing up.” He went on to explain that if there were a CYO game being played in his gym on Saturday morning, he’d walk over and talk to families for 30 minutes or so, or say hello to a CCD class, or visit an RCIA class. I believe the pastor can have an enormous impact on the life of a school simply by “popping in” on schools and visiting classrooms,, shooting hoops with the older boys at recess, talking to a gaggle of middle school girls about the latest TV show. Our Catholic elementary students and teachers respond well to an active male presence in the school.

I think the same is true in reverse. We Catholic administrators often bemoan the fact our pastors are not as involved as we’d like, but we try and maintain as low profile as possible in parish life and too often miss events where our very presence would affirm the importance of the event. What pastoral initiatives and events are really important to the pastor? We ought to know, and find ways to show up for them.

A few final remarks: One of the great blessings of my life as one who has worked in Catholic education for thirty years is the fundamentally good, holy pastors and principals I’ve come to know and call “friends.” These are people who have committed their lives to God and to others; I would even call many “saintly.” It’s a sign of our brokenness that even among saintly people, misunderstandings and hard feelings develop. Instead of reading the tea leaves, trying to decipher the intentions and motivations of the other, or trying to ferret out who has the authority to make which set of decisions, we need to be very intentional about building human relationships with each other. The synergy and optimism that comes from a friendship between pastor and principal makes both ministries more powerful, leading families to heaven.

There is no higher calling.