Discussing our Mission with Others

For those of us in leadership positions in Catholic schools, I believe we must be intentional about layering over our schools with soaring, aspirational language that is explicit about who we are. If we can say things clearly and consistently, I believe this language begins to affect our communities' self-understanding, helping our faculty, students and families build a common purpose. 

Here's a few more resources to that end. The last piece is something I put together for the founding of St. Michael Catholic High School.

1) From Archbishop Michael Millar, "Five Essential Marks of Catholic Schools" (2006):

(One essential mark of a Catholic school is that it is) "inspired by a supernatural vision. The Church sees education as a process that, in light of man's transcendent destiny, forms the whole child and seeks to fix his or her eyes on heaven. The specific purpose of a Catholic education is the formation of boys and girls who will be good citizens of this world, loving God and neighbor and enriching society with the leaven of the gospel, and who will also be citizens of the world to come, thus fulfilling their destiny to become saints." 

2) From Pope Francis: "Our generation will show that it can rise to the promise found in each young person when we know how to give them space. This means that we have to create the material and spiritual conditions for their full development; to give them a solid basis on which to build their lives; to guarantee their safety and their education to be everything they can be.."  

3) From Pope John Paul II: " Catholic education aims not only to communicate facts but also to transmit a coherent, comprehensive vision of life, in the conviction that the truths contained in that vision liberate students in the most profound meaning of human freedom."

4) And from Pope John Paul II again: " The greatest challenge to Catholic education in the United States today...is to restore to that culture the conviction that human beings can grasp the truth of things, and in grasping that truth can know their duties to God, to themselves and their neighbors."

5) From the website of St. Michael Catholic High School (Fairhope, AL):  

Our motto is: "Great hearts and minds to do great things!"

Pope Francis, speaking recently to youth, encouraged them to strive for "magnanimity," which he defined as " having a great heart, having greatness of mind; and having great ideals; the wish to do great things in response to what God asks of us."

Pope Francis artfully summarizes our aspirations for students at St. Michael. We want them to develop great hearts and great minds, so that they may live joyful lives, and in so doing, do great things for others.

In his explanation of the virtue of magnanimity in the Summa, St. Thomas Aquinas reflects on its opposite, "pusillanimity," which means, literally, "small mindedness." The reason people are small minded, he says, is they don't believe they have the "qualifications" to do great things--that they are incapable, as if magnanimity were a virtue only possible for saints. And in fact, we live in a culture that too often thinks this way about teenagers, that tells them they are incapable of chastity (so we advocate for 'safe sex'), or true scholarship (so we inflate grades) or handling disappointment (so we give everyone a trophy). And the sad thing about this consistent messaging is that our children begin to believe these things about themselves.

That's not our view! We are children of God, temples of the Holy Spirit, and infused with the grace of Christ, "who strengthens us, and through whom we can do all things." (Philippians 4:13). We are called to holiness! We are called to be saints! We want students to "go for it," to extend themselves beyond their comfort zones, to delve deeper into their studies, to try out for teams (even if they're not selected), to join new clubs, to serve others in new ways, and to strive for excellence. In so doing, we believe students will grow into young men and women who are happy, confident in their futures, and ready to make a difference in this world.

We believe teens are hungry, deep down, to be challenged. They are utterly bored and uninspired by an accommodating, "lowest common denominator" approach to life. They want their lives to matter; they want to be challenged by the gospel, to believe that such a life is possible, and they are powerfully attracted to people who are living as if it is.

Infused with optimism, immersed in a culture of excellence, blessed by teachers who care about kids and lift them up when they stumble, and elevated by a dynamic faith, Catholic high schools can change students' lives!

May St. Michael truly be a place that calls students to greatness!

The Wisdom of Francis

Frequent readers of my blogs know that I often talk about new ways to discuss our schools, advocating that we aim to recapture the evangelistic fervor that resonates from the gospels and our Catholic tradition. (Previous posts on this theme have been here and here. ) I believe how we articulate our purpose to others matters profoundly in building the right culture for our schools,  as long as we are willing to carve out time to speak thoughtfully, frequently and consistently about this purpose as leaders in the school, recognizing we have a kind of "bully-pulpit" to do so.

In my view, Pope Francis is particularly adept at speaking to young people about the challenge of the gospel, and thus serves as a great source of inspiration for us as Catholic school leaders on how we might talk about our mission to others. We used his brief remarks on "magnanimity" as the foundation of our "vision" for St. Michael Catholic High School, resulting in a tag line that says "Forming Great Hearts and Minds to Do Great Things."

Here are some other Francis quotes that I believe provide us with beautiful ways to think and talk about our schools:

First, here are two quotes from the "Joy of the Gospel" to inspire us as leaders:

Finally an evangelizing community is filled with joy; it knows how to rejoice always. It celebrates every small victory, every step forward in the work of evangelization (sec. 24).

Challenges exist to be overcome! Let us be realists, but without losing our joy, our boldness and our hope-filled commitment. Let us not allow ourselves to be robbed of missionary vigor! (sec. 109).

And here's some of his messaging to young people:

Yours is a time of life which is full of amazing changes.  Everything seems possible and impossible all at once.  I repeat what I said to some of your friends: “Remain steadfast in the journey of faith, with firm hope in the Lord.  This is the secret of our journey!  He gives us the courage to swim against the tide.  Pay attention, my young friends: to go against the current; this is good for the heart, but we need courage to swim against the tide.  Jesus gives us this courage! … With him we can do great things; he will give us the joy of being his disciples, his witnesses.  Commit yourselves to great ideals, to the most important things.  We Christians were not chosen by the Lord for little things; push onwards toward the highest principles.  Stake your lives on noble ideals” (Homily at the Conferral of the Sacrament of Confirmation, 2013).

“With [Jesus] we can do great things; he will give us the joy of being his disciples, his witnesses. Commit yourselves to great ideals, to the most important things.” (Vatican Radio address to young people) 

I ask you, instead, to be revolutionaries, to swim against the tide; yes, I am asking you to rebel against this culture that sees everything as temporary and that ultimately believes that you are incapable of responsibility, that you are incapable of true love. 

Do not be afraid to go and to bring Christ into every area of life, to the fringes of society, even to those who seem farthest away, most indifferent. (Rio, World Youth Day, 2013) 

"Let yourselves be touched by his boundless mercy, so that in turn you may become apostles of mercy by your actions, words and prayers in our world, wounded by selfishness, hatred and so much despair." (in anticipation of World Youth Day, 2016)

May we bold enough to discuss our purpose with the same evangelistic zeal as our pope! 

How to Give Your Teachers Bigger Raises and Save the School Money

Last spring I was named the founding principal of St. Michael Catholic High School, a new Catholic high school located in Fairhope, Al, part of the Archdiocese of Mobile. I began work in July of 2015, and our first day of classes will be in August, 2016.  

It’s been thrilling to design a school from “scratch,” and I’ve been blessed with excellent support from the archdiocese and the broader community. But it’s also been an occasion for me to be reflective about things we principals often take as “givens,”  be they bell schedules, the classes we require, the extracurriculars we offer, and as will be the topic of this article, HOW we structure our pay scales and salaries. 

Let me begin with this general observation about us concerning salaries: We principals often draw the lines too firmly, unwilling to offer an outstanding faculty prospect a few extra thousand dollars to secure his or her place on our faculty, or to retain an excellent teacher who needs more. Our most important expenses are salaries, and our most important assets are excellent teachers. We can try and hire “on the cheap,” but the reality is, for every mediocre teacher on our faculty, we end up losing tens of thousands of dollars in tuition dollars in the long run, as unhappy or uninspired students leave us, or as a mediocre reputation dampens enthusiasm for admissions. Making PURELY an economic argument (and setting aside, for the moment, the profound difference a gifted teacher can make in young peoples’ lives), we are too often “a penny wise and a pound foolish” in our hiring and retention practices.

But often, this “mistake” is hardwired into our salary charts. I have challenged the very idea of salary charts elsewhere, because they too often hamstring us from hiring people at the salaries we need to get them. But if we must have salary charts, we should create them such that they help us retain our best teachers  (or attract high end teachers), and this means, I believe, having salary scales with the greatest range possible between starting salaries and the veterans: austere on the front end, but generous on the back. Our 15+ year veterans are presumably the pillars of our school (if they’re not, we don’t have a salary issue as much as a performance evaluation issue). I believe they should be making 25,000+ dollars more than our first year teachers. If they are, every year (or every couple of years, depending on how we choose to do it), we can give these teachers a sizable bump in salaries, recognizing their growing importance to our school. Too often, however, we keep the ranges so narrow that our annual raises barely keep pace with inflation, and almost certainly do NOT keep pace with the increasing expenses of a young person, who may begin with us as a single person, but then marry and have children. He or she may be deeply committed to our mission, but there are bills to pay and mouths to feed. 

There’s another reason a wider range salary scale is better: It’s usually cheaper. If my starting salary is relatively high but my 20+ salaries are relatively low, I’ve tilted the “average” salary up, since the statistics say the majority of our faculty will be with us less than 10-12 years. But if I am paying excellent wages to my most long-standing teachers, who represent a smaller fraction of my faculty, and if I am keeping starting salaries as low as possible, then my “average” salary will be less. 

For illustrative purposes, let’s look at two fictional schools, A and B, each with 20 faculty. Both schools have 7 (35%)  of their faculty as “level 1” (1-5) years, 7 (35%) as “level 2” (6-10) years, 4 (20%) as “level 3” (11-15 years) and  2 (10%) “level 4” (16+ years). Though every faculty is different, this would not be an entirely unusual Catholic school breakdown per 20 faculty.

School A, however, has a narrow range of salaries, with a starting salary of 38,000 and 53,000 for 15+ teachers.  School B has a wider range, with a starting salary of 33,000 and a high end of 58,000. For the sake of this illustration, let us assume that salaries increase each year in both schools in a linear fashion, meaning they go up equal amounts from level 1, to 2, etc. So in school A, the increments would be $5,000 as one moved up the levels, whereas for school B, the increments would be $8,333. 

What is the total cost of salaries? In school A (7 * 38,000) + (7 * 43000) + (4* 48000) +  (2* 53000) = a total salary of  865,000. In school B, (7* 33000) + (7*41333) + 4 * (49666) + (2* 58000) = a total salary of 838,995. School B pays out $26,000 less in salaries, even while it gives each of its teachers a bigger salary increase each year. It’s a “win—win” for both the school and employee—a happy instance where philosophy and practicality marry for the common good of all. 

And now, a few qualifications: 

These numbers don’t work, of course, if a school is comprised of predominantly long term teachers. But that’s a relatively rare phenomena—consider yourself blessed if you have that “problem”! But I’ll add this: ask yourself if those longer term faculty are among your best teachers, or to put it differently, if your performance evaluation of faculty each year is sufficiently challenging as to weed out the average teachers as the years go by. Better teaching ought to be expectation for our longer serving faculty, given that they have been able to hone their craft over the years, but often, we give our longer serving teachers a pass. 

These numbers also don’t hold if a school is unable to attract good teachers at the lower starting salary. In my example, if school B can’t find good beginning teachers at 33,000, then it’ll have to pay more. But there’s good news on that front: Having just accepted over 175 applications for 15 teaching slots as we begin a new school at St. Michael, I can tell you it’s a “buyer’s market.” Plus, as I have written elsewhere, if it’s necessary to sweeten the pot to get a hard to find position, consider giving a young person a signing bonus rather than raise beginning salaries across the board. Signing bonuses are one time payments. 

“Be wise as serpents, and gentle as doves,” Jesus commanded. May we be given wisdom to lead our schools well. 

K12 Catholic School Alliances, from the High School Perspective

I believe a day will come when many of our parish-based elementary schools will combine with our diocesan high schools into "K-12 schools", led by a single president, with a single business office and Board, and with principals at each
"campus." We did this in Montgomery, Al, in 2001, combining St. Bede elementary, Queen of Mercy elementary and Catholic High into "one school on three campuses " and renaming this new entity "Montgomery Catholic Preparatory School." We then built a middle school on the high school campus, and reconfigured the K-8 elementary schools into K-6's. The model has been highly successful, reversing a decade-long slow bleed in enrollment, creating PR, development, and financial efficiencies impossible for any one school "going it alone." From 2004-2008, enrollments grew by 35%. 

In the mean time, however, the most common model remains K-8 parochial schools funneling into a (typically) diocesan high school. I believe that even within this structure, there are "alliances" which can be created between schools that are of mutual benefit to each school within the alliance. Drawing lines of distinction between the schools too sharply or thinking too narrowly misses opportunities for mutual collaboration and benefit. Most of what this alliance entails depends on what the high school is willing to do. Here's some of what I've done and am thinking about doing in this regard (Some of this has gone on for years between high schools and elementary schools around the country.)

1) First, let us be very generous in sharing facilities with the K-8 schools and their families. This begins to create the important sense of "we" in the K12 community. In Nashville, the two Catholic high schools hosted all CYO soccer, football and basketball contests for the elementary school kids. That meant that once a week or so, parents on those teams visited our high school with their children. Is that taxing on the high school? You bet!--so much so that I reconfigured our assistant athletic director's hours to work Saturdays and be off Sundays and Mondays, so that he could be the liaison between the school and CYO. But development experts will tell you that the chance of families enrolling in your school down the line increase dramatically if they visit your school three times or more, so I saw it as a healthy long term investment in admissions. And in the interim, I'd argue we're doing the right thing by sharing our resources with the broader Catholic community--our schools don't belong to "us," after all, but to the Church.

2) Encourage a sense of "we" in the faculties of the younger grades. I tell elementary school teachers and staff to consider themselves as "adjunct faculty" of the high school, and to emphasize this point, I send them event passes for all home athletic contests and musical concerts,  and encourage them to come see their former students perform. More substantively, I tell them that I want their sons and daughters in our school, and emphasize if they need help to meet tuition costs, I will absolutely prioritize them in giving out limited financial aid monies. If we want to be a true "presence" to the younger grades, the best way is to make sure the teachers in those grades are parents in the high school!

3) I believe that we in high schools should also prioritize financial aid to assist families with children who are in both the high school and elementary schools at the same time. I think it wise to "package" this priority in some sort of marketable way, by telling parents, for example, that "If they have children in both the Catholic high school and elementary school simultaneously, we'll give the family half tuition scholarships if they qualify." That doesn't create an additional burden on the high school, because those families must qualify through an independent financial analysis, whether they have kids in other schools or not. And if they do, these are truly the families we want to help first! By setting things up this way, we acknowledge the sacrifice families are making to send their kids to our schools, and simultaneously, we assure the elementary school leadership that we're thinking of them and seeking to add value to their school. 

4) High school athletic programs are a powerful uniting force for the Catholic community, bridging over parochial divides. If possible, consider combining the middle school programs of each elementary school into "middle school" athletic programs of the high school, playing the same area K-12 private schools that the high schools play, only at a younger age . We did this in Montgomery to great effect--the "Knights" middle school program began in 2001 and actually paved the way for building a new middle school and reconfiguring the elementaries into K-6's in 2004. And here in Mobile, with an active CYO program, we're not advocating pulling the elementary schools out of CYO, which would hurt the Catholic league, but combining the Baldwin County Catholic elementary schools, some of which are too tiny to support their own teams, into a single CYO team whose name will be the "Cardinals" (our high school mascot) and which will play at the high school site. Doing so improves access for athletics to students in these smaller schools even while creating a unified "identity" that can only help the high school in its future admissions. Everyone wins!  

5) I haven't yet fully implemented this, but it's on my agenda to explore: I believe there are monies to be saved if the high school works in concert with elementary schools to negotiate bulk purchasing for things like paper,  internet access, or copy machine contracts. The more business we can bring vendors, the more powerful our alliance, and the more willing vendors will be to negotiate with us. Often the high school has a finance director that can negotiate with vendors in a way that secretaries of elementary schools simply don't have time or the expertise for, benefiting everyone.  

Aristotle once said: "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts." In a similar vein, Steven Covey urges us to "Think win-win" in his "Seven Habits of Successful People. I think we're wise to think this way about our K12 schools. 

Pastors and Principals--Three Practical Suggestions

Parish schools have two undisputed leaders: the principal (and in rare cases, a president) and the pastor. Canon law is clear that the pastor has ultimate charge of all ministries in his parish, including the parish school. Even so, the “face” of the pastoral ministry of the parish for young families is often the principal. When the two work together as partners, both school and parish can have a transformational effect on the life of families. When there is friction or misunderstanding between them, things fall apart. Here, then, are some practical ways in which pastors and principals can build partnerships to advance the important ministry they both share.

Establish a sacrosanct weekly meeting. In almost every case I’ve known where pastors and principals are at odds, they are not meeting regularly. This is a simple fix! There are too many overlapping areas not to talk on a routine basis, and when we don’t, we inevitably misunderstand the actions and motivations of the other. 

“Oh, we talk all the time,” one principal told me, “No need for another meeting.” I disagree, strongly, on a number of levels.  “Drive-by” meetings are almost always problem-driven, aimed at solving a particular issue of the present, and rarely involve any kind of strategic discussion about the future. Since they are quick, impromptu meetings, often the “issue” is resolved by one person informing the other what he or she has decided to do, rather than a kind of healthy give-and-take. Unwittingly then, both begin to ask themselves who has the “right” to make this or that decision, such that the context is one of authority rather than partnership. And in my observation, over time, these unscheduled meetings become less and less frequent, given the natural busyness in the life of both pastor and principal, leading inevitably to misunderstandings and resentment.

Honor symbols--Pastors and principals should look for ways to stand “side by side” both literally and figuratively in their parish ministries. For example, the principal should invite the pastor to every PTO meeting--at minimum to open the meeting with prayer, but beyond that, I’d suggest the principal ask the pastor to say a few words on the topic of the evening by way of introduction. The pastor should find a way to say “yes” to such invitations, recognizing it links him powerfully to his families. Parents love it when the pastor is present, as it affirms the “Catholic difference” they’re investing in. Short of unresolvable conflicts (but let’s be honest, most conflicts are avoidable or resolvable), I believe it’s really important for the pastor to be at big, school wide events. But the principal must invite him to have a meaningful role.

Show up for stuff--A pastor friend of mine once said, “The secret of my job is just showing up.” He went on to explain that if there were a CYO game being played in his gym on Saturday morning, he’d walk over and talk to families for 30 minutes or so, or say hello to a CCD class, or visit an RCIA class. I believe the pastor can have an enormous impact on the life of a school simply by “popping in” on schools and visiting classrooms,, shooting hoops with the older boys at recess, talking to a gaggle of middle school girls about the latest TV show. Our Catholic elementary students and teachers respond well to an active male presence in the school.

I think the same is true in reverse. We Catholic administrators often bemoan the fact our pastors are not as involved as we’d like, but we try and maintain as low profile as possible in parish life and too often miss events where our very presence would affirm the importance of the event. What pastoral initiatives and events are really important to the pastor? We ought to know, and find ways to show up for them.

A few final remarks: One of the great blessings of my life as one who has worked in Catholic education for thirty years is the fundamentally good, holy pastors and principals I’ve come to know and call “friends.” These are people who have committed their lives to God and to others; I would even call many “saintly.” It’s a sign of our brokenness that even among saintly people, misunderstandings and hard feelings develop. Instead of reading the tea leaves, trying to decipher the intentions and motivations of the other, or trying to ferret out who has the authority to make which set of decisions, we need to be very intentional about building human relationships with each other. The synergy and optimism that comes from a friendship between pastor and principal makes both ministries more powerful, leading families to heaven.

There is no higher calling.

Great Minds, Great Hearts, Great Things

I often look for ways to elevate the discussion of our schools with others, and in this respect, I continue to be edified by Pope Francis, who has a way of saying things both simply and powerfully. Not too long ago, he said this off the cuff to an audience of Albanian and Italian elementary and high school students:

Following that which St. Ignatius teaches us, the principle element of school is to learn to be magnanimous. Magnanimity: this virtue of the great and of the small, that makes us always look to the horizon. What does it mean to be magnanimous? It means to have a big heart, to have a great spirit; it means to have great ideals, the desire to do great things to respond to that which God asks of us, and exactly this doing of daily things well, all of the daily acts, obligations, encounters with people; doing everyday small things with a big heart open to God and to others. It is important, therefore, to tend to human formation aimed at magnanimity. School not only expands your intellectual dimension, but also the human dimension.  (Vatican Radio, June 7, 2013)

Great minds and great hearts to do great things for the Lord--what a powerful way to talk about our mission with others! 

"Magnanimity"  comes from two Latin words, "magna" meaning "great" and "anima" meaning mind or spirit. Thus "magnaminity" means literally "great-mindedness." St. Thomas Aquinas, in the Summa, defines it as a "stretching forth of the mind to do great things. " He contrasts it with "pusillanimity," from "pusil," meaning "small," such that a pusillanimous person is a small-minded one, without great aspirations or ideals. It makes sense, then, that in modern parlance, pusillanimity is a synonym for cowardice, since those without large vision or ideals are not moved to action and are inclined to "play it safe." 

Aquinas argues the reason people tend toward pusillanimity is that deep down, they don't believe they have the "qualifications" to be magnanimous. They believe that magnanimity is a virtue for the spiritually elite-- the saints, perhaps--but not for us, we who are ordinary.  It's as if we tell ourselves, "if we aim low, we won't be disappointed." 

And in fact, we live in a culture that consistently aims low for our youth: "We don't really believe you're capable of virtue or of chastity, so practice safe sex." "We don't really expect you to be committed to scholarship, so we'll inflate your grades." "We don't think you're capable of handling disappointment, so we'll be sure that you and everyone else gets a trophy." And the sad thing about this consistent messaging is that teenagers begin to believe these things about themselves. 

But that's not our vision in Catholic schools! We are children of God, temples of the Holy Spirit, infused with God's grace to do great things with our lives for others! We are all called to holiness! We are all called to become saints!

I believe teenagers are hungry, deep down, to be challenged. They are utterly bored and uninspired by an accommodating, "lowest common denominator" approach to life. Instead, they want their lives to matter; they want to be challenged by the gospel, to believe that such a life is possible, and they are powerfully attracted to people that seem to be living as if it were. 

Magnanimity, then, needs to be the consistent theme of our schools, calling our students to do great things. "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me" (Phillipians 4:13) is the Scriptural message. And even in doing the lesser things, Mother Theresa remarks: "We can do small things with great love." May we consistently remind our students they are powerful, strong, and capable of doing great things for others.  

11 Tips for New Principals

This month I begin my 27th year as a Catholic school principal, president or headmaster, and I can truthfully say I hope to continue for another twenty or so more, God willing. As we ramp up for the year, my thoughts and prayers are for the many new principals who are no doubt nervous! Here's some of my best tips, learned through years of trial and error (and error, and error).

1) You don't have to make decisions right away, especially the tough ones.

Because we want to be "decisive," it's easy to fall into the trap of making instant decisions, on the spot. But the truth is, there are very few circumstances where we MUST make an instant decision, and we should take advantage of this fact to consult with others and pray. When I was a first year principal at a young age, I got very good at saying "I'll need to think this over and pray about it, and get back to you tomorrow." Then I'd walk across the hall and talk to the president of the school, who had been the previous principal,  to seek his advice and then think and pray about it that night.

For difficult decisions (non-renewal of contracts, expulsions, lengthy suspensions, etc), it's often good to tell the affected persons what we're considering, but that we need an extra day for prayer because we know it impacts them greatly. They usually appreciate this. More importantly, it gives us the ability to discuss the "hypothetical" with them without hardened positions, gives them a chance to advocate for themselves and feel like their perspective will be factored into our final decision, gives them time to absorb the bad news and get past the immediacy of emotions, allows us to end the meeting without being shouted at (!)--and most important of all, gives us a chance to truly seek out God's wisdom and guidance.

2) We don't have to be the trigger that fires every gun. 

I sometimes ask principals: “Who is responsible for opening up their school in the morning and who locks it down at night?” Too often, it's us!  It needn't be--more than likely, there's someone on our faculty who loves to get to school in the morning before anyone else. Ask him or her to open up--usually, he or she is quite willing to do so. Who is in charge of ringing the bell to change classes on alternate bell schedule  days? For my first three years as principal, our math department chair was consistently frustrated with me for being a few minutes late, distracted as I was by other duties. So in my fourth year, I asked him: "Would YOU be willing to ring the bells between classes?" He was delighted!  From that point forward, bells rang on time, I had one less thing to do, and one less teacher was grumpy with me! 

In fact, the more "routine" tasks we can delegate, the more freedom we'll have to give attention to people. Having an executive secretary is NOT a selfish thing if it allows us more time with students, faculty and parents! Our attention is the greatest gift we can give those we lead.  It elevates and affirms them, and they, in turn, are more open to our leadership.

3) It's OK to modify on the fly what we believe should be the consequence for serious discipline, if necessary to build consensus with parents. Ultimately, the purpose of discipline is to change behavior, and if the school and parents are at odds, whatever the school does is almost certain to be less effective.

I am not talking about retracting a position that we've already taken with the parents or child. Once we've "pronounced," it's usually important to stick to our guns. Rather, I am referring to our decision making process before hand. For resolution of serious disciplinary incidences, I usually go through a four or five step process:

• I first meet with the child privately and review what took place, with an attempt to get the child to admit what he or she did wrong. "Owning the problem" is the first step in all 12 step programs to change behavior, and rehab experts say it's the most important. Also, if the child admits it, there will be less problem with the parents accepting our final judgment, and we can affirm the child's honesty with their parents, despite whatever he or she did wrong. 
• Next,  I have the child call the parents and tell them what happened. I typically step out of my office and let the parent and child talk privately. Then I take the phone and ask the parents to meet with me the next day (this allows for a family discussion that night and also allows some of the emotions to dissipate). 
• Next, I meet with the parents, apart from the child, review the facts with them, and discuss options. It's in that interaction that I am trying to discern a consequence they can support, even though I am not asking them directly or seeking their "permission." Perhaps I was going to give the kid a 3-day suspension, but in talking with the parents, I sense they'll only support a 1-2 day suspension. I'll make a private decision to modify, on the spot, in order to speak as one voice with the parents to the child. I meet with parents separately from the child because in today's world, if they walk in together to face me, the parents' instinct is to be the child's lawyer, and I am trying to create the opposite effect--that the school and parent are a team of adults trying to help this child learn and grow through their mistake.
• If I believe I can establish a common ground which is commensurate with the seriousness of the issue, I will tell the parents then what I want to do. If I cannot, I tell the parents what I am "thinking about doing" (see #1 above). 
• Then I invite the child into the room to review the facts, ask the child if he or she has anything to add, and then pronounce the consequence (or for serious issues, possible consequences, see #1 above).

If I follow this process, most of the time I can achieve consensus with parents--and when we do so, that moment is almost always a turning point for good in that child's life.  Building such a consensus takes time, and some times, it doesn't work, as some parents are simply unwilling to accept their role as partners with us. On these sad occasions, we must stand firm, even though we know we'll be less effective in helping the child grow from his or her mistakes. 

4) Follow up a few weeks later.

When a parent brings us a concern and we address it, we should cue our appointment calendar in two weeks to check in with the child or the child's teachers and send the parents a follow-up email, asking them "how things are going?" Parents are deeply grateful we've remembered the meeting and are still thinking about their child. It both affirms the parents' concerns and assures them we're keeping an eye out.

5) "Catch kids (and adults!) being good."

So much of our instinct as principals is to correct wrong behavior. A wise principal once told me it's much more important to affirm GOOD behavior, both privately and (where appropriate) publicly. We respond so much more powerfully when people legitimately compliment us! And if we want to build an optimistic culture which affirms kids and tells them they're capable of greatness, it's important that we are the #1 cheerleader of the teachers and coaches who must communicate this optimism to our students.

6) Short, handwritten notes are powerful.

I have school stationary on my person where ever I go. When I have a few moments, I'll send a quick note of thanks to students, or parents, or donors, or send my condolences for a loss. As a standard practice, whenever the school learns of a death within a family (mother, father, aunt, grandparent, great-grandparent), I ask my secretary to place an envelop and sticky note with name and reminder of who died, so I can jot off a quick note of prayer and support for that family.  It takes me less than 3 minutes to write such notes, but they have real impact. 

7) Late Friday afternoons are good for difficult meetings.

The weekend is a good time for people to regroup after hearing bad news and get themselves in the right state of mind for Monday. Also, schools tend to clear out more quickly on Friday afternoons, making whatever emotions a person may be experiencing less public in nature. And for all the same reasons, Friday afternoon is also a good time to post athletic team "cuts" (especially cheerleader cuts!) .

8) "Re-baptize" existing school events for new, additional  purposes rather than create new events.

We're too busy, and adding events just makes everyone even busier, especially we who must plan and execute them! But Notre Dame, for example, uses timeouts during its football games to make special presentations on the thirty yard line to those deserving of the school's recognition, and everyone in the stadium claps for them. That's 85,000 saying "thanks" vs. the 300-400 who might come if ND sponsored a banquet. And the banquet would be far more expensive and require many more hours to prepare for and clean up after. 

Typically, we kill ourselves during National Catholic Schools Week with all sorts of special events (which is why we're so thankful when the week is over!); how many of these events can we tie into already existing things, like the weekly school mass (perhaps we invite grandparents to mass instead of a big breakfast, and have refreshments with their grandchildren thereafter) or the basketball game on Friday night ("alumni night," with a special sign-in table to get a big "alumni" badge, and a public welcoming during the game's introductions)?

We used to have "admissions breakfasts" for prospective families in our conference room, until we realized it was more powerful for new families to come to the school at lunch and experience eating in the school cafeteria between the school's two lunch periods. It takes no work to prepare the additional food, but gives prospective families a much more authentic "window" into the life and feel of the school.  Keeping with that theme, we then give parents the option of attending one of 4-5 actual classes in session rather than prepare simulated presentations. 

9) Frequent, 2-3 minute observations of classrooms are more powerful than 45-50 minute "evaluations."

I supervise by "walking around and listening in." I make a few mental notes to praise what I've observed about what was going on. Affirming the good is always more powerful than ferreting out the bad (see #6).  Good teachers, especially, want us to notice what they're doing--they're rightfully proud of their work! And those who tend to cut corners will be less likely to do so if their we could "pop in" at any moment. Students and parents like it, too, as it assures them we "know what is going on."

10) Usually, a group meeting to handle a common complaint or concern is a bad idea. 

When teams of parents want to meet with me about a mutual concern (a coach,  for example, or something that happened in a classroom, or a new policy in the school), I always express a willingness to meet, but not in a group setting--rather, one parent (or couple) at a time. When I meet individually, I can listen to his or concerns, and how this has affected his or her child directly, and avoid the "hearsay" criticism a parent may have heard, which is often repeated as "dogma" in group settings. In group meetings, emotions of one parent often feed the emotions of the other, leading to a negative chemistry which is not conducive to resolution. Yes, it's more time consuming to meet with 3-5 parents individually than all at once, but the time spent is worth it if I am truly interested in bringing some sort of catharsis to the situation.  

11) Pray often! 

Endemic to our culture today is a distrust of leadership, and from time to time, we'll be distrusted and/or unfairly criticized. To keep our ideas fresh, to be the kind of optimistic person our schools needs us to be, it's important to bring our life to the Lord. Among other things, we should keep a private running "list" of intentions for particular teachers and students as part of our prayer life. Reminding ourselves of their struggles and asking God to bless them helps shape us and predisposes us to be sensitive and creative in addressing their needs.

Principals, I believe, can have a profound effect on families and on the culture of the communities they serve. It's a noble profession! My prayers and gratitude to those of you who have "accepted the call!"

 Got a question? Thoughts? I'd love to hear from you.